Monday, January 28, 2013

Special post for a Special person

LOOKS really is deceiving. Some might disagree on this but for me; I already had proven it that what matters most is to know the person first before simply coming up with assumptions. 

Actually, I do have this STOP-LOOK-and-LISTEN principle to each men and women I met wherein I observe them first the way they speak or on how they act. I judge them afterwards then decide whether I should befriend them or not. That, I once applied to this certain lady who has been a coursemate, a co-staffer in the publication, and who would have ever thought, would become my BESTFRIEND as well. Honestly, she ain’t my type. At first gaze, she’s stern-looking, bossy, manipulative at times, very irritable and annoying—such an unideal person to be with. 

Bitter Past
During my early years in college, I already anticipated instances of acquainting people whom I will surely loath, and indeed it happened when I met her, CHERRY.

A day with her was some sort of like a decade of living in hell. Seeing her face just gets into my nerves and makes me wanna kick off her a**. I can never tell why I reacted so mad unto her. Some things really are unexplainable, maybe because of her unbearable attitudes which I’m not too accustomed with or the intense competition between us in terms of our performances on class. I never wanted to get dominated by someone, and that goes for her as well. That is why since then, I considered her solely as my rival.

What’s worse? The more I pull myself from her, the more she comes nearer. She even treats me as her true friend. Disgust was all I ever felt at that time yet I continued my act on what has become a game to me and thought of just getting along with the ‘friend thingy.’

Though I despised her a lot, still I was able to control myself and just acted as if I liked her too, even if it is against my will, enough for her not to notice the unreasonable hatred I have for her.

Sweet Today
For a couple of days, weeks, months and years we’ve shared under one university, my negative impressions on her suddenly altered, especially when she surprisingly introduced me to her mother and said, “Ma! This is my BESTFRIEND!” I was totally moved and overwhelmed at that moment.

She has been a good comforter,  an ever bubbly batch mate, my day enlightener, my love encourager, my goal motivator, a generously pampering friend and most especially a loving sister to me. I adored her genuinity, her openness towards me and her being outspoken. Some people just misinterprets her personality that is why most of the time she always gets in trouble. But once you get to know her, you will surely understand.

Nowadays, it is very rare to meet people of her type. That’s why I stand proud and grateful since God bestowed me a gift more precious than any riches on earth and that is, Mary Cherry Sanchez, my honey, my pie, my bestfriend, my forever sister.

As she once posted on my facebook wall:

If happy ever after really exists, I wish to be holding our partners like this, but as of now it's only me and you-just me and you :DJela Mae Ruales! ;-) 

Now I dedicate this poem to you dear

After 70 years, our bones may get brittle
Our knees will become weak
Our skin will soon wrinkle
Each hair strand that we have will turn gray

But one thing will stay,
...bounded by destiny
... tested by tides of disputes and misunderstandings
yet strengthen by time ...

I'll stay with you to listen...
to share...
to care...

We once vowed...
Not to leave each other's company
Be always present at times of misery
Reach our goals together
Grow old together
to be the coolest and hottest grandmas ever.

Cherry, you let me realize
that BESTFRIENDS are for real
I THANK you for that 
... and I L♥VE you, more than you could ever imagine!

_Today celebrates the birth of this special person. I wish you all the best in life my l♥ve .
Stay pretty! Stay bubbly. Always keep your feet on the ground. ;-)

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

A dash of nuance this 2013

It’s been 16 days now since that doleful Christmas I had last year. It was terrible. Never have I imagined undergoing such anguish. It would have been better if the cause of my sorrow was the exhaustive paper works in school or the demeaning words from your parent’s mouth, but it wasn’t. Instead, I had been in pain and been weeping for several nights because of a MAN—one damn worthless man whom I adored so much that I could even dare to go to school having not accomplished any of my assignments because texting him late at night was far more interesting than scanning my notebooks.

How could I be so blind? I could be as tougher as anyone else in this world but why in terms of the games of love, I become timid? Is this how stupid I am? What have I done to make myself suffer so badly?

He was one hell of a man. He has that kind of appeal and personality which I truly longed for on a man. I never get bored everytime were together. Within that short span of time we’ve spent together, I knew part of him as much as he does to me. From all the guys I’ve met, he stood out. He wasn't too good-looking, ain’t tall nor whitely toned but for me everything in him was enough… enough for me to fall.

He was not too wordy. Only his actions and gestures spoke to me. Based on that, I knew he was sincere with his intentions. Yet we cannot be together as much as we wanted to, as much as I wanted to rather, because of certain circumstances. Forbidden love, as what everyone would say it.

I loved him, maybe… But I don’t know if he felt the same way too. I was uncertain and confused with the way he treats me. It was not that normal friend-snuggling thing I used to have with my other circle of friends. . I knew he cared for me. I knew he liked me because he said so. But there was this one line I longed to hear from him ever since. It was the words of, “I LOVE YOU!”

But despite that, I believed him though. I believed that day when he said he is willing to wait for me. I believed in every inch of those mushy text messages he would send late at night, in every touch of his hand, in every amorous stare of his, and in every word he utter.

From those bittersweet memories begotten from that moment the sun rises ‘til it drops itself into the horizon, I knew we were getting into something deep.

However, in an instant, he suddenly changed. He became a stranger to me. Between us warmth has evaporated and was replaced with aloofness. It was when he told me that he was getting back with her former girlfriend.I wasn’t just sad. I was in a total agony like being punched on a face with the biggest fist on earth. It hurt me a lot. A lot as in a lot!

I can still summon in mind that moment when he called up in the middle of the night, 25th of December, telling me “I’M SORRY!” I never wanted to hear that from him. But what choice do I have? What right do I have to hold him back? I was never his, neither he was mine. At that time, I sat still on a boulevard offshore, severely crying in pain. I didn't know what to do by then. I was alone... left with nothing but heartbreak and disappointment.

What I had in mind that time were questions of whys and hows. Struggled in confusions I asked myself, how could he do that to me? Was he really sincere? Did he intend to hurt me? Was it all a lie? How could he fool me?

Realization came up to me. Was there really something behind his sweetness towards me or was it just I who put colorful meaning unto every actions he do?

Could you just imagine... it happened on Christmas eve!!! What a nightmare! The merriest Christmas ever. Shoooot ! >_<

 Now, he is just somebody that I used to know. No spark at all. Initially, I have started moving on since its new year! I swore to myself and also to the people whom I shared that experience with not to cry anymore. I have shed too many tears and wasted enough love on him. HE'S NOT WORTH IT! HE DOESN'T DESERVE ME! 

I had once centered my life unto such man which was my biggest mistake. It is time for me to focus on the things I had neglected. I will give more time on my studies, family, true friends and most of all my relationship with God.

My life, once shattered, will slowly turn back to normal, piece by piece. My heart, once broken, will surely be whole again. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but I know time heals.

For now, I'm gonna SMILE like nothing's wrong, PRETEND like everything's fine and ACT normally as I could.

Hello Kitty!

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